Thursday, January 05, 2006
A Face That Was Made For TV
My television program, "Raw Sports With
Hold up, lemme make a quick phone call and get some clarification.
Okay I just spoke with Aaron Snyder the producer of this new program starring...me, and Aaron told me that it will tape at 1 AM today (meaning January 6) and air on FSN Rocky Mountain at 1 AM. That's sixty minutes past Midnight.
Can anyone say Tivo?
Actually this is all part of a well thought out plan by the FSN Rocky Mountain executives, who have been in this television business for far longer than I have.
What they're telling me is that this is what they refer to in my industry (notice how TV has now become "my" industry too?) as a soft launch. Meaning that the major announcement concerning this ground breaking program, with a parade down at the 16th Street Mall, won't be made until we get all the bugs and kinks worked out.
However even with this 1 AM time I have been given, the FSN Execs tell me that there are a lot of people up at that time watching TV - and that some of their best numbers are reflected in this time slot.
I actually bought this suggestion with a smile on my face too.
Hey man, 1 AM, 4 AM, 17 AM, I'm gonna be on television! With my own program! With my name on it! And I'm getting paid some pretty good money to do it! Someone show me the downside here.
So you are aware, the show is being developed with the full intention of making it a daily program (that means 5 days a week) and placed in a much more favorable time period where I won't be competing with insomniac theater.
The Foxies love me. And why wouldn't they? They've listened to my radio program (at least twice from what I'm told) and clearly recognize the myriad of strengths I bring to the table with me.
I'm a hot looking guy with a sizzling personality, I possess a tremendous photogenic smile, and I am never short of speaking my mind or calling someone (even yours truly) out on the carpet.
I truly have it all. Don't be jealous.
I've been studying the Ron Burgundy movie the last few weeks hoping that I can find my way by taking note of some of the techniques that
I've also been paying attention to the way that Alan Colmes happens to squint with his eyes whenever he zeros in on the camera.
But those two guys I just mentioned really have nothing on me.
I'm a natural-born... star.
Made for the big city and the bright lights... as long as I can herd my cattle in the quiet environment of the
I liked the name they attached to this show as well. "Raw Sports". Backwards that would be "War Sports". Which is an interesting moniker for a future show that I may have an interest in doing.
I plan on combining the best of the sports world with a few topics that Oliver North usually covers on his show...thus the appropriate name of, "War Sports". I'll have to remember to mention this to Aaron later today.
I guess that I won't be able to dip my chew when I'm doing this TV program? Would you notice the little pinch between my lip and gum...providing me with pure tobacco pleasure without lighting up?
Too bad I don't smoke cigars any more. You talk about a great show prop, huh?
Then again I've actually thought of maybe taking up cigarette smoking just on the days I do the show. I always liked the way that Morton Downey Jr. was able to chain smoke on his program and not skip a beat.
What the heck ever happened to Morton Downey Jr. anyway? Oh that's right, he died a few years ago from lung cancer...I can't figure out how that happened.
Well, I should just not try to be like anyone else, right? Just let the Sports Doctor be the Sports Doctor, and do what the Sports Doctor does so incredibly well is probably the best course for me to follow.
Let me state right now and be up front with everyone here, I have no inclination to go after Chris Rose's job on the Best Damn Sports Show Period. Period.
And you're watching Raw Sports.
On FSN Rocky Mountain.